Waiting Game.

I am just sitting and waiting for Paul to call me to say that he is home so that I can go over there and tell him that I cant see him anymore. That it is too hard for the both of us. He was going to call me as soon as he got home yesterday and I was going to come over buthe never called. Meanwhile I am downtown having two drinks to get myself prepared to have "the talk". I am kinda pissed but I know that he isnt home so that may mean that he wanted to stay longer or he had car trouble. Paul is one of the only people that I know that doesnt have a cell phone so he cant just give me a call to tell me what's up. I was so hoping that I would have good news to report. Instead I am playing the waiting game. I am sure that he will call me and I may have to miss dinner to see him tonight. I dont know yet. I do know that he already has plans his weekend so this has got to happen tonight or else it will have to wait until next week, which will drive me mad. Pete says that he wants to talk to me after I talk to Paul. That he has questions to ask me about Paul and I and our relationship. Do you think that it is any of his business? Even in the distant (and I mean so distant that it 90% wont happen?). I mean I did sleep with both of them. OOooooppss. That sucks I know but you all have slept with your boyfriend after you broke up. Dont lie. I know that it is the worst thing that you can do but it happens. Anyway, when I get done with the show on Saturday I am going to tell the band no more shows for a while. I just need a rest and some time to myself. I am going to cut if off with Paul and Pete and then I am going to have me time. I am going on vacation and going to enjoy just hanging out with myself. It's weird when you go downtown every weekend you feel like if you dont go down there that you miss something or something. I am just going to go to happy hour if I feel the erge to be around people and then leave around 9:30-10:00 before people go downtown. I will go downtown but only is it is a special occasion. No more going out just for the hell of it. It will cut the drinking to. I am house sitting this weekend so that will help too! I can relax in the air conditioner. I just want all this drama to be over with and I am ready to start my new life. I am overwhelmed and ready to take control of my own life. I feel good other wise really. After this week it's on and my vacation starts on Saturday of next week. When I come back I will totally be recharged and feeling 100%. Until then I guess I will just have to wait!